dear diary,

i've just painted my nails (white , obvs :P) , so id better be careful, 1) not to get white nail polish on the keys, and 2) not to ruin my lovely nails as i normally do because i'm so impatient as you can tell by me writing while they are only half dry!!

so anyway, todays been really good! i started the day feeling lonely, because liz wasnt in my art class, and i dont seem to have much conversations with anyone else ( well not at all really except the teacher and jess ocasionally, who was sitting on her own aswell, so im suprised she didnt come sit with me : /). and break was wierd too, cos i was in the common room on my own, untill grant and johnny came :D and then they disappeared again , which was awkward :S i hate being on my own in a room full of people i dont know!! just sit there like.. umm ... yeah.. LOL . but it was a great day from then on.

except johnny was being wierd.. and i realized on our way back to school that actually, i wouldn't be suprised if it was my doing. who can blame him for being weird around me!! he's probably going through some really harsh emotions right now, i just wish that i could talk to him about it!! cos ive been there! but it would be awkward for him (well both of us reeeally) because its about me!!

i guess ive just gotta let him handle it. and if he really loved me as much as i loved scott, i can tell you its gonna be rough!! but he'll put thru ^^ hes a tough guy, with a big heart. i just hope it doesnt go cold , cos i could sense some serious coldness brewing in him towards me today. hes quite harsh in how he talks to me, (until i told him he was acting strange ) so yeah , need to look out for him right now! :)

so yeah !!! dunno what my situation with guys is right now , but i know that my relationship with God's WAAYYY more important. he's the one who sustains me, and knows my heart, and loves me the most. so obvs im gonna want to be tight with him more than any dumb boy who has nooo idea how to treat me. so whatever! love will come find me when its ready to handle me :P:P;P

so anyways, right now , im talking to clare and laura. saw rosie today!! shes got a job in a chemist in beckenham so i saw her on her way to work, but she was half an hour early so we walked and chatted for a bit which was really nice! perfect timing :D

so anyways, gone 12 and im gonna go for a run in the morning before school :D claire went the other day! proud of that girl :) so inspiring she is!! :P

later skaters xxx