dear diary,

aww ! was the first thing that i said while trying to recite what i was gonna write here on my diary this morn,when i saw that great photo of me and claire :D love that girl! if it wasnt for her id stibe in a puzzle about scott. did i tell you that hes back?? and totally 'misses me' lol. great timing!! im so over him now.. i did consider it again, but tbh,everything has changed so much, including him, and in reality, its just gonna be so messy, and heartbreaking, and i dont even think i could ever trust him with my heart again. a few months ago i would have been all totally up for it,still hurting of course, but very needy of him,but now, i think ive just out grown him. hes still really fit (well even fitter :P) and totally God-filled, and just lovely,but he stil has issues.. and im not saying that i want a perfect guy,but i have enough issues of my own,i dont need someone whos just gonna be even more trouble for me.

besides.. i have rediscovered my love for pearce. which is ironic, cos it feels like he has gotten overme! :S ive been talking (well,and flirting) with his bro, and hes totally clueless on his bro situation. i found out more gossip on facebook than from the guy who lives with him. but i guess facebook is a quite personalsite now a days, people tend to spil there emtions on there before they do their friends ( or even there bfs in yaz's case!!) - and yes, i am guilty. but i did telmy cla(i)re's about it first. not the whole story cos neither of them are within reaching distance atm, but you know, i told them the main stuff, and left all the heart felt and moaning stuff to when we met up :)

i love my friends!! they are just so amazing.. me and clare are applying for uni together.. (this means im gonna have to speak to my form tutor at some point to get him to help me with my personal statement :S). shes looking for a job right now, and is gonna work this year and then go to uni next year - the year i would be going if i wasnt going to australia :D :D :D :D :D !! im well excited!! but kinda scared about the whole flight thing, and landing in a totally different country all on my own for a few hours (when i get my connection flight in somewhere like sigapore :S) !! but it wil be great fun. ill just make friends with the person sitting next to me and spend the day with them :D hopefully they will be going to australia too, or just have some spare time to hang out with me till my flight comes!! :D

speaking of.. i might actually look up flights now.. just to get an idea of cost etc..

talk soon

xxx