dear diary,

so , its 11.12, and my plan is to stay up all night to get over this laziness late wake-up late bed-time nonsense. ill keep awake [somehow!!] untill about 9 o'clock tomoro night and then just crash out. then [hopefully] ill wake up earlier the next day and will make the most of my time at revive!! good plan ay? actually, i stole it from a few of my new friends.. one who is perticuarly cute, a christian and knew my name before i knew his, and has been to my house!!! lol.. he knows candy and arol, and rents a room in their house, goes to selhurst church [near where claire lives] and is also only a year older than me!! but.. he reminds me a LOT of jonathan. same built, similar character, and probably similar background. plus i dont think he's interested in me, and id be better to stear clear of boys like him considering my previous experience with guys like him... i think i know what kind of guy i want to marry.. and [btw God :D] i wouldnt mind meeting him this summer..!!! it would be awesome.. just as long as it wasnt another scott. i need someone who is not so serious with the stuff that scott.. the whole 'promises to god' thing, and all his many issues.. i just want to meet the guy for me in the next 2/3 years .. that would be perfect! scotts timing was difficult, and maybe he's not ideal for me, but someone similar in looks would be great !! [hehe]

anyways, ive manager to stay awake for 10 mins so far! lol.. later on i will probably write again.. hopefully that will be a few hours from now!!

laters skaters xx

dear diary,

yesterday i was pretty depressed. and it wasnt even with a reason.. i mean, i was kinda lonely, and was really emotional on sunday, but it wasnt that bad! im not even realy upset about anything.. it was so wierd! it fet like a desease had come over me and i wasnt sure what to do about it . i really really hope mum's depression isnt genetic.. i would hate to be in her state. its just not real living ! and its horrible! i want to be independant and happy and have lots of people arround me who love me. i have nothing to complain about.

but anyway, today i wrote a song! i had already written a few lyrics a few weeks ago, and i formed some really nice chords combinations while practising, and then put the two together !! it sounds great. i just wish i had a band and could record my songs.

anyway, im meeting emily and going to chris and jennie's later, :)

bye byes xxx

The Good Kind - The Wreckers 

[love this song!! the chords are so simple.. i love playing it on guitar and singing along :) <3]

'Do you wanna run away together?'
I would say it was your best line ever.
Too bad I fell for it...
And I walked alone,
Waiting for you to come along.
Take my tortured heart by the hand.
And write me off.
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...
You forced me to become strong.
And I just craved, being weak.
And you think you know.
And I would like to think so,
But do you know that when you go,
I fall apart.
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind.
No, it's not the good kind...
I'm tired of hiding behind these lying eyes,
I'm tired of this smile that even I don't recognize.
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind...

No, you're not the good kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good kind.
Good kind
No, you're not the good kind.

my two lovely parents when we went to pizza express on fathers day 09! <3