<3



dear diary,

right now im feeling kinda.. lonely, actually. its strange cos its really sudden. just been looking at my sister boyfriends profile, and although im not jealous that shes with him ( cos hes not really my type, and a non - christian : / ) i really miss having a boyfriend. ok , i miss scott being my boyfriend!! i realy cant shake this! its been so long, but i just cant get over the fact that he might still like me as much as i like him.. and what if i miss out on that by moving on ? im happy to move on, if i meet someone whos amazing, and truely loves me and loves God more than me, but still wants to be with me their whole life, then ill totally go for it! ( at least i hope so). so im not totally in a mess, its just a tiny lingering feeling that comes with being single and heartbroken.

i think ill end on that note, although theres so much more i coud talk about, jonathan is a whole different story! phew.. i dunno if i can even handle being his friend anymore. its getting pretty crazy. we havent talked about it ...... yet. i plan to spring it on him next time i see him and he has to have a total heart to heart with me, cos i cant stand seeing him hurting and me being there, and him not telling me about it! hes one of my best friends.. ( well was untill recently, i barely see him at all nowadays , which buggs me because i know hes going thru a lot, and i know he misses me a lot too! just cos i can guess his feeling more of the time, cos he wears him feeling 'on his sleeve' or so they say , and i just know him !!!

anyway, i think i wil actually finish this post now. lol. since its so late.. and ill continue my rant in the morning, when i will have free time ^^

scott, i miss you!!! if you ever read this, please know that right now, even thou things are crazy, i love you with all my heart and i feel like i could love you forever and ever and even after Jesus comes back and takes us home : )

g'night yall.

lovealways xx