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Rachel Linda Ayrton is hurting really badly, and is listening to 'Teenage Dirtbag' and feels just like a teenage dirtbag. boy, o boy, i feel like an idiot. so utterly heartbroken and like complete crap. sometimes this feeling really ticks me off! a moment ago.

Dear Diary,

todays been great! i had music btec :) and also art where we were doing that henry moore technique. anyway im just making small talk, because the real reason im writting is to let out this heartace. i have that acey feeling again. and its not the fault of these heartbreaking love songs on the radio this time, just that i miss him! mann..i dont really know what to say or think. uhh!!! :'( boy i hate this feeling.

I am so in love with him!

and this feeling isnt going away, no way. emily was talking to me on sunday about being in love. shes another person who doesnt understand how much i love him and even though im so young that there is no one else i would rather be with. i sooo soooo hope he hasnt found someone else. i know for sure when i last saw him there is no way he would have even thought about another girl, but its so hard to know whats going through his mind when he is so far away and i never speak to him!! its been almost a month now. Lord!! i dunno if i can take much more of this.

dear diary,

this picture is of me right now!! :) not looking my best but i thought it would be good to see what i look like up to date.

today has been good, i had french in foresthill which was suprisingly easier that i thought it would be. ive been singing along to every love song on the radio this evening whilst drawing my rose for art.

tomorow its music !!!! i hope were just doing band practise again.. or maybe improv? im getting used to the idea of singing randomly, and im trying to improve my singing technique too.

had a piano lesson today.. same old, but it was nice cos there were only 2 other kids and not constant noise from people.

well, im shattered. really wich i could speak to scott! i would love to phone him or something.. just to hear his voice again. but better still! its camp reunion next friday!!!! wooo! he sooooo better be there! otherwise i will nag at him thru facebook! :(

he will be - afterall its the only time im gonna see him from now untill christmas, unless i go to his party. hope i do! but will be wierd.

anywayyyy, bedtime. goodnighty!!